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November 14th, 2004

10:58 pm - *****Bang In My White Tee***** Hey...Hey...Hey... How are all of you... Good to hear... Anyways... So this weekend was pretty fun.. Friday night hung out with Nate and Brandon.. which was fun. and then on Saturday my aunt came and got me and we went shopping and we went to lunch and then I stayed the night at her house. That was fun I learned how to play $POKER$ which was fun, and then got to hang out in the hot tub. And that was way fun, And then today I went to the Harley toy drive at Rumbay which was actually cool. I had a lot of fun this weekend. Although Jessika and I didnt hang out which was kinda sad... It was kinda lonely. And I cleaned my room and rearranged it today and did all my laundry. the first time in like 8 years. HAHA. Anywho.. Yea so I am gonna go... Talking to Jessika now SUKKAAAAS. haha LATER Des Current Mood: loved Current Music: Twista-Trick Daddy-Lil John **Lte's GO**

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November 4th, 2004

03:24 pm - Go fuck yourself sideways Well...well...well... Whats goin on everyone.. How are all of you.. Anywho... things with me have been pretty fuckin crazy. Today in biology class I had to look at baby dead pigs. It was the most horrible thing I have ever done. And tomorrow we have to DISECT them.. FUCKING FOUL. I helped with the frog.. and all that but I AM NOT DISECTING THE PIGLET. And all these assholes in my class thought it would be funny to act like they were goin to put pig juice on me. Wich they didnt cos I walked out of my class. But any who.. today is WILLIAMS BIRTTHDAY! he's 15.. isnt that the CUTEST thing ever. HA. Anywho.. yea so me and Nick have been hangin out a lot lately. Which has been fun. Although Lexi and I hung out yesterday.. cos I helped her pick out Williams birthday present. And like she told me how much she missed me. And missed hangin out with me, And how her ompft kinda left when we stoped hanin out. wich was kinda sweet, and cute at the same time. I dont know life as I know it right now... Is pretty much just shit.... But i need to go.. Later </3 Des Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Jessica's Typing

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October 18th, 2004

11:10 pm - How harsh can this world be? Hey everyone long time no talk. how are all of you.. thats good to hear. Well as for me.. and my life.. it could be better.. i thought tonight was a deasent night up until i got this phone call.... and now shit seems out of control. I cant handel all the bullshit any more.. and like I dont know. But please.. everyone that reads this leave me a COMMENT on how all of you are doing... later Des Current Mood: sad Current Music: Jessika's tears

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September 8th, 2004

11:10 pm - -I can't... I can't pick up the pieces- Hey everyone.. I haven't written in here in a LONG time.. haha.. well last Friday was my Birthday! haha the bit ONE SIX! in case you were confused.. I turned 16.. hahahaha.... FOr you slow ones out there.. anywho.. life has been good.. Tori and i are closer than ever.. and like I don't know.. he said he does want something to happen between us. So I don't know man.. maybe something will. He is such a sweet kid! But yea... I got WAY drunk for my b-day.. it was AWESOME! I loved it man. Any who.. uhm.. yea.. I seen Drea the other day.. she came over.. i was like AWE.. I miss hangin with her! and Angela.. I miss those days! but yea.. any who.. uhm.. Lexi an I are no longer speaking.. I'M DONE WITH THAT WHOLE SITUATION.. hahaha No more.. any ways.. enough with the stupid shit.. uhm school is WAY ghey.. and hum... well thats about all thats been goin on in my life.. So yea.. you should leave a comment.. ALL OF YOU.. to inform me of how you are doing!!!!!!!! I miss you all! <3 Always <---Desirae---> Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: Yellowcard

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August 14th, 2004

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August 8th, 2004

01:38 pm - -Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself loses his misery- Well my sister Melissa came over today, and she huged me and i just cried, its so hard to live this life when no one cares for you.... I was super happy to talk to my friend Melissa today.. and i found out she doesnt hate me, and that we are still friends! And that makes me happy. I am glad shes okay now, because I love her to death! I am glad she is doing better. Well my family hates me... They all just look down on me because i stood up for myself. which is super cool. I dont know wnay more man, like i just want to be gone.. FOREVER.. pshhhh.. anyways.... Today sucks.. I can't believe i'm saying this.. but i want school to start bad! I hate my house.. and my mom wanted me to amke her a list of the things i like about her, and the things i dont like about her.. I don't know.. I cant take the lies and the cheats any more..I cant let everyone just walk all over me any more.. I cant.. I am going to start bettering myself for me.. not for you.. or him or her. I am going to better myself.. and i will show all of you in the eand,., that didnt ahve faith in me.. that i can do it... I'm done </3 Des Current Mood: blank Current Music: MC Hammer- You Can't Touch This

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August 7th, 2004

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August 5th, 2004

03:17 pm - the hardest thing in life is to watch someone you love, love someone else Well.. uhmm this week has been the worst week of my life.. Well Dunday morning at 2:00am Melissa called me, and was crying and had no where to go.. And so I went to Safeway and picked her up. And it was WAY emoutional.. and then I bring her home,a nd shes on drugs, and what not, and i feed her, and like around 5:30 that morning, she tries leaving again. And my mom blocked the door. and she left through the garage dorr. and like i chased her, and was trying to talk to her.. and like my mom grabed the car, and like i got in the car and we followed her.. and like she goes into these appartments, like the parking lot of them,, and my mom blacks her in, and she threw her bag over the fence and she tried jumping over the fence, and I jumped outta the car, and i grabbed her, and she fell, and i held her down, and then my mom grabed her other arm, and then like she was fighting us of course,, and then a neighbor called the cops.. and then she smuggled outta her hoodie, and then the cops had came.. and like they caught her,. and i cant seem to get all the images out of my head, Like I hope I NEVER HAVE TO ever do anything liek that agian, just seeing her actions, and the way she was acting, and like i donno al I ahve done all week is cry.. and my mom has been just horrible horrible week. and i don't think that i am going to be able to get over this for a long time. But yea,, I am sure I will ahve to.. And my sister Melissa called yesterday.... And I was at practice.. and liek she left me a message,, and like i listened to it, and i just cried, b/c she was like "I have been thinking about you this week... And I thought I'd call.. to see how you were.." And i just started crying so i called her.. and we talked.. and she just I dont know.. love her to death.. and she gave me a lot of advice as usual. I love her.. I wish i could go out there b4 skool starts, but of course i cant.. which sucks! But I think I am gonna go... <3...Des if i could take every second every moment that we spent erase it from my life and start over again i wouldn't do it i couldn't even try cuz even if the pain & tears never dried at least I know I had my days wit you remember when it was just me and you.. I close my eyes and wish it was a dream where I could wake up and you would be next to me.. Current Mood: restless Current Music: 311-Amber

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August 1st, 2004

07:02 pm - Friendship is one mind in two bodies Well, well, well, School starts in like 19 days.. I think thats what Tristen told me today. LOL I am excited to go back and see EVERYONE! But then I dont want to go to school.. But oh well I am sick of my mom N shit.. so I am ready to go. Even tho i am hardley home, and thats sad when I am like never home, and i cant stand her when im here. Hahaha.. Any who... Lets see.. whats goin on here... Uhm I talked to Daisy today! And we had a serious, meaningful talk.. ANd it was way awesome! AND ON SATURDAY I SEEN KRISIT!, Codi and I were driving and seen her at a gas station, and turned around and stoped and seen her dor like an hour! I was SOOOO.. happy to see her! she looked way happy! I loved it! Melissa has been gone for 3 weeks now.. Way sad.. I am sooooooooooo worried about her! what am i gonna do man? I donno, I am so scared for her! And liek I dont know...But Orentation is the 5th,, so i donno.. I am excited.. but im not. haha But i think i am gonna go.. way bored! hahaa -Later <3...Des Current Mood: guilty Current Music: Pink Floyd-Money

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July 28th, 2004

01:07 am - -Sometimes I wonder if I was made for this life or not- Wow, I HAD THE MOST FUN NITE last night!!!! I went to Kotten Mouth Kings last night, it ruled so much! Omg I met this guy Aaron there last night,WOW Really hot, Haha, and then Codi tlls me today, that uhh she gave Tori my number, and that Tori really likes me, And Agh I dont dont know! This sucks man, I don't want to hurt Tori, Cos I do like him too, But I also like Aaron! OMG This is bull/schimt I TALKED TO ANGELA today, I havent talked to her in a L*O*N*G ass time! I miss hangin out with her! She's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO P*R*E*T*T*Y!!! I love ya KIDDO. LOL< Tech Nine is comming to concert! AND I WANT TO GO REALLY BAD! Well.. I think I am done for tonite... Later -Des Current Mood: Light headed Current Music: Kevin Lyttle-Turn Me On

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July 24th, 2004

11:48 pm - -No Woman No Cry- Hey everyone.. I haven't written in here in a REALLY long time. WOW. haha, How are all of you all doing? Thats good. Well School starts in like 3 weeks. I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK, This summer has been really fun! LoL, On Monday I am going to go and see Kotten Mouth Kings, So that should be fun. I am Going with Danette now, I was going to go with Codi and Daisy, But I don't know. Oh well. But yea, I am sort of excited.Codi and I went to a party at Steves last night, It was fun, Tori and I talked for a long time. It was cool, and it was a meaningful talk. He's a nice kid. LoL. But yea, I am now getting sick, My mom said it wasnt strep, But i have a REALLY BAD COLD. So I really hope its at least 1/2 way gone by Monday. Oh well. Melissa, Well she ran away 2 weeks from today. It is really killing me. It's my fault. I should ahve made her come home man. AGH. Oh well. Me and william are going with Vickey tomorrow so he can look at this car, and see if that is the car she was in that day. But I don't know. Oh well.... Well I think I am off. Till next time... hahahahahahaha -Why must the world be this way- -When you get shit on once, it just doesn't stop- Current Mood: *Cough*Cough* Current Music: Sublime-No Woman No Cry

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July 2nd, 2004

03:55 am - -Everyone is ignorant, Only on certian subjects- Wow...! Look at my B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L Journal! Angela did it for me! THANK YOU ANGELA!.. I decided to write in here again, Because Angela and I had a very meaningful talk. And it ment a great deal to me. She gave me some advice that no one has ever givin me, And could be a major change in my life. Angela.. Thank you sooooo much for having this talk with me. It helped me realize that there are way more people out there that do like me for me. And that Once people get to know me I am a wonderful person. And i had begun to think that I was losing your freindship. And i now know I'm not. And I really hope you understand how much that ment to me! I don't need the people that cause me so much hell in my life! You are a W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L...person. And you are a GREAT friend! Thank you sooo much! It means a lot to me! <3 Des Current Mood: thankful Current Music: MASTA P! haha

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01:30 am - -We didn't have much, But we sure had plenty- Hey all.. haha how are things? thats cute.. Any who.. I am kinda bored. I had to stay home tonite. N it kinda sucked. Hahaha I ahve to get up early tomorrow N get my chores done so i cal leave! haahahah I am so going to do it. Haha I need out of here. One day at home. N I am ready to kill. Hahah ::Sad:: Meh oh well. Codi N I are more than likely hangin out tomoroorw. ::RIGH ON:: Hahaha for sure. N then Seth wants to ahng out. So we will probably hang out also. So yea man. N then the 4TH OF JULY IS COMMING UP! I am so getting fucked up, hahaha.. I am excited like no tomorrow! Yea man. So I don't know. I am hella bored. ::JERIMIE:: Called me today! I was O so happy! It was so nice to talk to him! I am glad Codi N I have begun to ahng out again. Although I do miss hangin out with Drea, N Angela. a lot. but it seems either im busy. Or they are? So I don't know? But I do. I talked to ::ALYSSA:: today! wow. That girl! I haven't talked to her since the last day of school when they all came over. N then we all took off, that was hella fun! -AnyWho- Codi came N got me today, N we went to look for a job. I think Codi already got one. hahaha N I didnt. hahaha. That sucks. Oh well. I guess I will just keep getting money from my mom.. hahaha ::LAME::..Oh well.. Well I think I'm done... Trying to think of something to type.. but.. yea nothing is comming.. hahhahahaha -Examine the contents, Not the bottle- Current Mood: excited Current Music: Dashboard Confessional-Hands Down

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June 29th, 2004

09:49 am - So much for my Happy Ending.... Wow.. I am way tired. My mom made me get up.. N wow.. this sucks.But I figured I would write in here I haven't writen in here in a while.So here we go! LoL. Life has een pretty good lately. I have been hangin out with Codi a lot! N it has been great! We went camping!!!! Wow.... We had soooooooooo much fun! Haha Codi.. Remember us trying to get up the rock N Scubba-Steve had to help us. N then like we couldnt get down! Haha man that sucked! Most Deffinatly! HAhahaa... But it was hella fun! N then when all those kids came at like 7:00 am. N woke us up. N then that kid that was trying to beat up trees N shit! haha wow.. that ruled. Codi, Mariesha, N I are all hangin out. Its her b-day. N we're going to all kick it. N It is my oldest sisters B-day today. We all went to dinner last nite. N stuff It was fun. I think likeJuly 16th I am going to go back out there. For a while. My mom actually wants me to go. Hahahahaaahahaha Maybe that says something. But no, She thinks I'm too stressed. So it all works out. I havent really been tlaking to very many ppl lately. I have always been gone with codi. Or sleeping. Haha. I am dying my hair. I am going *Dark Brown* because Everyone N their Great Aunt has that color now. So I'm done. N going Brown. But I'm out.... Later -Des Current Mood: content Current Music: 311-Love Song

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June 15th, 2004

12:21 am - There is a game I play try to make myself okay try so hard to make the pieces all fit Hello.. EVERYONE.. How are ya'll doing? Haha I am SOOOOOOOOOOO bored. Wow.. This sucks. But I am EXcITed.. Melissa is comming in 2 days! We are more than likely hangin out this weekend. I missed her soooooo much! I am so happy she will be here for at least 2 months! I love ya Melissa! haha. Anyways.. Billie N Jessica.. Came over today. N we hung out for a while. N then we went to the mall for a little bit.. Just hung out. It was nice seeing them again. I haven't seen Billie since School was out. So that was cool. He got his license. It was funny watching him drive. N jessica Messin with him. It was hella funny. Haha BILLIE... you are a good driver!! ahah. We should hang out like that more often guys.I went and got some job App.'s today. I need a job. I hope I get one.. I got like 5-6 app.'s so ONE has to atleast give me an interview. hahaaha HOPEFULLY. My luck.. I not even get a call. That would SUCK. Haha. Went and said "Hello" to Jill at work today. It was funny. It was kinda cute watchin her work! haha. I am going to apply there too. Haha.I want to repaint my room. I am tired of my room looking like, what it looks like now. Haha Daisy is painting her room next weekend.. Maybe she can give me some ideas. Haha I dont know.. I am probably just going to leave it the way it is. Man I am BORED out of my mind. -Lexi- Thank you for your words of wisdom... It ment a lot to me.. N i am glad to know you will be here for me!!!! THANKS KIDDO.. -Anthony- Thank you for telling me those thing you told me today. You are my BFF. haha thanks. yea.. Well I am VERY bored.. I might as weel go to sleep. Goodnight KidDos.. Current Mood: VERY TIRED! Current Music: Sugarcult- Saying Goodbye

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June 13th, 2004

08:14 pm - On a bed of nails you make me wait. Hellooooooooooooo everyone! Haha.. How is it going? OMG ma I bored or what.. Chh.. I get to finally leave tomorrow! I am so excited! haha.. N then Melissa is comming on thusday! I am so excited! We might hang out on Sayurday night. Maybe go see a show or something. I don't know I am just excited she is comming back! haha.She was one of my best friends! N then she had to omve.. But we have kinda kept in touch! haha. Anyways... My mom is trying to get rid of out rabbits.. Haha which doesnt bother me because I HATE TAKING CARE OF THEM. Hahaa. meh... Kim and I are supposed to hang out tomorrow. So I don't know. -Kim- I hope you are okay. you don't need Mikey.. You can do better.. N you deserve it! I still love Mickey.. It's just You N I are WAY closer.. haha And I wish the best for you! And -Daisy- Don't let Chris pull you down. you don't need him. You are way better than that. you don't need him putting you down like that. Come on.. hes worthless. And I hope you N Mondo work things out.. And things go okay for you two. Anyways.. now that thats done N over with.. What is there to say? I cleaned the WHOLE house today... Like REALLY good. It looks BeAuTIfuL.. haha.. My sister came over today.. Melissa.. she had to get groceries.. So she came down. And the kids stayed for a while. N then willaim was being a smartass like always..I wanted to slap him.. REALLY HARD.. N e ways.. I'm REALLY bored... So leave me some comments I suppose.. I'm out later Des Current Mood: HELLA BORED Current Music: Atomship-Pencil Fight

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June 12th, 2004

09:26 pm - The tears begin to fall.... WhAts Up.. kIddOs? Haha.. yea just got back from having dinner with my family. And then we went to target. And then came home. MAn it's so different having no kids aroound any more. Like we can just go out to eat.. And no one looking at us because the kids are yelling [BITCH] and yelling. WEirD? hahaha.. anyways... How are all of you doing? Thats good... I mean ohh I'm sorry? hahaha just pick one. Wow.. I should have never said i would stay home thoe WHOLE weekend.. I can handle this. its okay 1 more DAY... haha bored out of my mind. I now know how it feels to ahve no friends.. You would just be home. OH WAIT.. my bad.. i have no friends RIGHT SHANNON.... haha bitch... Oh wait i shouldnt say that cos HEIDI hates me?! haha DONT FUCKIN CARE! hahahaha man this is tooooo much fun. Wow.... huh.. I need a job really bad! -Jill- I hope you N Melysa work things out! I wouldn't want you to end up like me N my EX-bestfriend!- Wow.. okay WELL LEAVE ME A COMMENT!!!! haha later -Wish I may Wish I might,with all these dreams have come to an end- LatEr Current Mood: calm Current Music: Breaking Benjamin-Wish I may

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12:14 am - Life.. Well it's ALL a lie Okay.. Well beings NOBODY likes me... Then i guess no one would be reading this right.. Haha.. I don't care what you say any more. And as far as your [FRIEND] goes... I DON'T FUCKIN CARE IF SHE LIKES ME.. SHE CAN GIVE ME DIRTY LOOKS ALL SHE WANTS. I don't fuckin like her any ways... Oh.. wait my bad.. I must be confused... cos I don't know what I feel any more... Anyways..... THANK YOU DAISY n LEANN for doing my journal for me. You guys are the best ever! haha We all need to hang out soon! What the hell is everyones problem any more. Oh wait. I'm the bitch.. And I'm the fuckin problem. MY FUCKING BAD. Wow... Kim and I both won that same award/Honor thingy! Hah yes.. we are the best! Oh wait no.. I am a noby.. My bad.. I keep fuckin this thing up. FUCK YOU.. ALL OF YOU..YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME.. YOUR NOTHING BUT SHIT! hahaha Oh wait..haha I'm so out.. Late Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Lacuna Coil- Heaven's A Lie

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June 11th, 2004

11:40 pm - FoR YoU DeZ...... D E S I R A E...... HeReS your KiCkAsS JoUrNaL that I made ALL PrEtTy and what not.... and LeEaNn for PUTTIN that PiC there.... of JaCk and SaLlY.... EnJoY BaByDoLl...... I LoVe YoU...... YoUr SeXy FrIeNd...... DaIsY MaYz..... I feel AcCoMpLiShEd :-P Current Mood: accomplished

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